INSIGHT

 For awhile my dream was to move to Alaska and study bears.  I know it sounds crazy but that's really what I wanted to do.  I longed to live in the cold, rugged, wilderness of Alaska and become a bear biologist.  At first everyone  thought it was a far fetched dream but when I contacted the swim coach for The University of Alaska Fairbanks and he arranged for an all expense paid trip to Alaska; every one's jaws dropped in shock. So I flew to Alaska....and nothing there was how I imagined it to be. 

  I guess I had and idealized view of Alaska and was thoroughly unprepared to deal the reality of it. I'm not an idiot, I knew it was going be cold but somehow I didn't expect it to be 25 degrees and snowing during the first week of May. The trip itself wasn't bad and I found many aspects of Alaska that I liked which for awhile made it impossible for me to decide whether or not Fairbanks was the place I should go for college.

     However...I had my epiphany one morning while waiting for the girl who was hosting me to get back from swim practice.(NCAA rules only allow you to practice once with the team) I remember sitting on her futon staring out the open window and watching a fresh snowfall coat the cars below.  The breeze made me shudder and the grey sky brought on a a sudden feeling of gloom and depression. At that moment I wanted more than ever to return to SC where it was 85 degrees and sunny.  I knew then I couldn't do it and I instantly texted my mom and told her that this school wasn't for me.  She was relieved because she was never a fan of the idea of me going to school so far from home. I had no second thoughts about my decision and it was probably the biggest insight of my life.  I like the warmth and would hardly ever get to see it in the cold, bleak city of Fairbanks.



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