Other.

“What are you?” is a question that has seemed to reverberate in my ears throughout most of my life.  Since my mother is German and my father is from the deep south of Alabama; my appearance cannot be linked with any particular race.  The yellow-brown hue of my skin and my thick curly hair puzzles most, and for awhile puzzled even me.

            Most of my life I struggled to fit into a world where I now realize I was born to stand out.  I made silly choices concerning friends, thinking the race of them would ultimately define my identity as well.  One of the reason's I have identified so strongly  with Drake is that he too is bi-racial. Like me his mother is white and his father is black. In interviews Drake talks about how hard it was for him to be taken seriously in the rap world because he was half white. Growing up bi-racial I think is especially hard for any child because at some point you must make the decision- do I hang out with the black kids or the white kids. It'd be nice if such a decision didn't have to be made but unfortunately that's not the case. Think about it when you look around at USC don't you usually see cliches of friends separated by race?

What do you think, am I more black or more white???

      I used to sit at home and wish I was either just white or just black because it would make life so much easier.  Kids at school would poke fun at me calling me “other,” since in their opinion I either didn’t act black enough or white enough.   At the time these comments struck me very hard, but it is my mother who I thank for making me a stronger and wiser person.  She taught me that those who can’t see past physical appearances aren’t even worth my time.  I learned that it is your actions and aspirations that ultimately define who you are and what you’ll become.   I now feel lucky to live a life that cannot be tagged with a specific label.  Though ironically I'm about to add some labels to this post...

"Swimming in the [pool] come and find me"-Drake

     Well back to the question, What am I?”  Well for some odd reason even though I no longer a swimmer, it’s the first thing I say. 

  I swam competitively for 10 years, during which time my entire life literally revolved around the sport.  I spent 6 days a week, 3 hours a day in the pool and once or twice a month I was away for the weekends at swim meets.  Balancing being a kid and my rigorous training schedule was not easy but I did it because I enjoyed it first and foremost and also because I was striving to reach a goal.  My goal was to receive a swimming scholarship and compete at Division I school.   Unfortunately I was unsuccessful in my goal because of an injury I sustained my junior year of High School.  I severely hurt my leg doing Track which made it impossible for me to compete at the level I needed to.  Although I didn’t reach my goal of swimming in college I still do not regret a single day that I spent swimming. I met my best friend through swimming and formed other lasting friendships.  I learned time management and discipline from swimming, something I feel cannot be easily taught. Today, though I no longer compete, I am still actively involved in the sport in the form of coaching as well as giving swim lessons.  The swimming world is one that I cannot seem to escape from but then again I wouldn’t want to either.  The years I spent swimming is something I will always be proud of and in describing myself I still always refer to myself as a swimmer.  Once a swimmer, always a swimmer is what I like to say.

BARBIE

     Whenever I see the image of a barbie or even just hear the word I think of many things some of them pleasant, others not so much. The unpleasant things that come to mind include my own peers here at USC who seem to be striving to attain Barbie status. Barbies though dressed in different outfits look pretty the same, which is how I see the majority of girls at USC. It doesn't make sense that so many girls here try so hard just look like the person standing next to them.  Well I guess I do understand it because as a bi-racial girl I tried for many years to look like everyone else but currently I'm"transitioning from fitting in to standing out" -Drake 

     Barbie also obviously reminds me of my childhood and I still have vivid memories of cutting her hair and dressing her up up in wacky outfits. Though I had fun playing with her, Barbie contributed greatly to the identity crisis I experienced growing up. Because the blond haired blue eyed doll that served as the definition as beauty contrasted sharply with my thick curly brown hair and brown skin., I felt self conscious about my looks up until I entered High School.
     Oddly enough Barbie also reminds me of Drake.  Drake's label Young Money includes a female rapper named Nicki Minaj who is featured on many of Drake's songs.  She calls herself Barbie and has undergone many plastic surgeries in hopes of looking more like her.  Drake is always rumored to be dating her because of their close relationship and many of the lyrics in his songs that would easily make think they are more than friends."I love Nicki Minaj I told her I admit it, hope one day we get married to say we f#!*in did it" -Drake